Hi, I'm curious if anyone has tips on performing while dealing with severe anxiety? My anxiety is due to income and finding it challenging to meet my basic needs.
I'm able to practice daily, I believe because I've made it a habit to practice. But when it comes to performing, my energy is not where I know it can be, random triggers can pull my focus, and after the show I go right back to full on stress about money woes. Not to mention Los Angeles is a "pay to play" city so the only place I can perform without losing money is the park.
I meditate and that has helped a lot, I have a therapist that I talk to weekly, but not being able to overcome my financial hurdles is preventing me from fully performing as me. Like my emotions and ability to groove are clogged by stress.
Books I've found helpful Zen Guitar and Effortless Mastery, but looking for some dramatic improvement in my mental state while performing for an audience.
Thanks
Thank you for sharing this topic!
We all do! We are humans so we care things. I just jammed with Ariel Posen in Boston. Right before I go on the stage. Definitely I get very nervous. But once I play a few notes... I can settle down. You can say that I have some experiences but I needed to be prepared so that I can feel comfortable after a few bars...
So when you are practicing. First you practice your techniques which is super boring but we all need to do. Then you can practice something for your performance where you practice songs. Not jam! Preparing all the details with a lot of attention. This stage, you need to imagine that you are playing in front of people so.... you need to feel that good attention and good pressure as if you are playing in front of people. You can practice this feeling even when you are walking down the street! I used to imagine as if I were performing in front of people even I didn't know how to play a good solo etc.
That's music part. Then I realized that physical part & mental part... you need to be prepared!
So I do my body exercises for balance & more energy when I am performing. Mentally, I try not expect anything too much. I just want to go a little above the middle. I highly recommend to record yourself / audio or video... so you can review yourself.
Please remember these words!
Don't worry!
Don't compare!
Don't expect too fast!
Be kind to yourself!
You are so special!
My book will be translated in English (around May 2025)
This book will teach you everything about my concept "Guitar Wisdom"
About money. You can be creative to think extra income from every angles.
It's all possible! Social medias are free with no instruction!
PS, No mater whatever happens... I start with be thankful.
Thank you.
Tomo
Oh, Ariel Posen is wonderful. A Canadian as well. Mile End is a crazy good album!
Hi Marcella,
Thanks for sharing your challenges. I too suffer from intense anxiety in many situations and have long depressive episodes as well.
Great advice on the Zen Guitar book. I've been reading it lately as well to find my zen, lol, sigh!
I've performed and recorded in numerous settings and usually the backseat passenger is right there making me feel anxious and every little mistake trips me up though I'm getting better at it. Most recently I've been playing in front of others and when I get nervous or anxious I try to remember two things:
1-everyone makes mistakes, even the best ones. Watching Tomo videos and other famous guitarists play you can clearly see that no one is perfect. That is hard one for me as I'm a perfectionist and am often hard on myself making the anxiety worse.
2-I was watching a YT video with some guitarist (Rotem Sivan and/or Julian Lage) about stress and anxiety and he said always remind yourself you have time and to breath. I've noticed that reminding myself to breath helps with anxiety while playing cause when I'm anxious and playing I hold my breath and I tense up and I make tons of mistakes, but breathing and breathing regularly like very 4 beat or what have you helps.
3-I'd also suggest journalling about anxiety like what thoughts and feelings are you having and then testing them out with reality. Often with depression and anxiety we have an altered perspective of reality that at times isn't what we think it is. For example, you are stressed out before a show and think that you will screw up a lot and make a fool of yourself, people talking bad about etc. You go out on stage and you make a mistake, as we all do, and I'm 99% of the audience didn't notice and your band mates noticed and didn't care cause you kept playing etc. When you get home revisit the journalling and see how realistic your fears and anxiety were. This is just a small step in the process of trying to change your thought patterns.
4-Also, sharing your days with mental health challenges is also a great way to manage anxiety as you will get support and compassion from people. Not everyone but you will, like here.
5-Financially speaking, and having been poor trying to pursue a previous dream, I finally had to stop seeking that dream out and got employment that will keep me and my family stable. I still hope to pursue my dream one day but when I do I'll be in a better place, I hope. Maybe it's time to find a balance between finances and music and try to meet that middle Zen ground like Sergio talks about.
All the best! You got this!
Sincerely,
Michael
P.S. One more thing, I might recommend trying to play cover that has similar concerns as you, if that is what you do in part, or writing songs that get to the heart of anxiety and financial concerns. I sometimes find that when I play a song that gets to the root of my experiences in one time helps me to deal with it as I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.
It's like the proverb on the Buddha that goes something like this: One day the Buddha came across a women that was so distraught at the loss of her family, she couldn't live for one second without grief and pain. So, he tells her go and knock on the doors of others in the village and see how their lives are. She did it and there was not one house without tragedy, pain or loss and she began to find solace in this.
Feeling connected to others who have lived or are living or one day will live with pain and loss is the human condition and there is power in that in my opinion.
Tomo, I find comfort is knowing that you also experience anxiety (not that I want you to experience anxiety!). but it helps me to set the proper expectation....if someone at your level experiences nerves then certainly I should not be alarmed that I would feel nerves. Sometimes we think that we are alone in what we're feeling, but we are not the only ones that feel that way. Back in the racing days we used to call it "preparation energy".
Thank you Linda for your reply! I had a severe anxiety when I was 14...too much pressure from trying to be a great guitar player. But in a way this helped me how to maintain my body & mind together. My Karate teacher really helped me to become who I am. He told me " Try not to be number one, Try to be only one!" That really helped me to focus what I need to concentrate. That's where I decided to focus on blues playing a lot. And use less effect pedals etc.
Don't worry! Two things are very important for me to live with anxiety like living with a good roommate. 1) Be prepare as much as I can 2) Do not expect as much as I can. Funny way to think.... I do prepared really well and I don't expect that much! Being health is just amazing!
We are all together! Please find more comfort from Guitar Wisdom!